At My Personal Best

Yesterday was my *least* favorite race of life.

It was also my fastest…. so technically, a personal best. Which probably explains why it was my least favorite.

I actually remember thinking “I hate this.” There was no runner’s high… only runner’s low.

Love this screen shot view which makes it appear that I have come before Geoffrey MUTAI.

It was hot. It was dry. My mouth was pasty.

I didn’t even feel like high fiving the little kids along the sidelines. I don’t think I’ve ever been so grouchy when running before. Very uncharacteristic of me… usually running makes me feel so joyous.

But yesterday.. man.. if this was my personal best… I would hate to see my personal worst.

Before shot. When there was no angst.

I think at some point after the three kilometer mark, I realized my expectation for coming in below 44 minutes was ill-founded… and as a result I spent the next 7 kilometers being mad at myself for not having done more speed work.

I think in every other race I’ve done, I just go out and surprise myself, and as a result, I’m happy with the results. It seems like expectations are a bit of a kryptonite for me, and I would rather come from behind unexpectedly, then let myself down when I fall short of my goal.

I read somewhere that unhappiness is when you are too attached to the way you think things should be going.

… and I don’t think it’s unrealistic to set my sights on a 42 minute 10km… I just have to put a more tangible amount of work into training for it. I think I was too attached to taking the path of least resistance. If I’m going to think that I need to obtain a certain goal, then I’m going to have to get comfortable with feeling uncomfortable.

And that my friends, is about as profound as I can be today because I’m still feeling slightly dehydrated.

Mike told me to chin up because in his words “even if I had a 17 minute head start, you still would have beat me.” Thanks MK. That does help a bit.

After the pain.

Thankfully, right now I’m thinking I should be eating some Thai food for dinner, which is making me immensely happy at the thought. And if there ever was a time when I was at my personal best, it’s when I’m eating some curry out of a pineapple.

get in my belly.

Now if you’ll excuse me I have to go drink my weight in electrolytes.

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6 thoughts on “At My Personal Best

  1. Did someone say once that joy is in the unexpected? Or may I wax archaic?
    “He who bends to himself a Joy
    Doth the winged life destroy;
    But he who kisses the Joy as it flies
    Lives in Eternity’s sunrise.” Blake.
    I like that. Cheers to your race. The pic sure doesn’t show the pain–only Joy!

  2. I’m sorry you did not enjoy the race, but you’ve got something to be very proud of…. and make 99.9% of your friends a bit jealous! Well done, and I’m sure that joy will be there again next time you tie your running shoes!

  3. Hi Emily!

    I often read (and enjoy!) your blog when facebook reminds me. Congrats on a great run – I was on the sidelines, but I didn’t see you whiz by! Craig ran the 10k too…. and enjoyed it just as much :S. Makes me think I’ll stick to cheering!

    Take care,
    Caleigh

  4. Pingback: When Salt is a Good Thing « Sparrow in the Tree Top

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