DIY Home Renovations

DIY sounded like so much fun before I knew that it stood for “DIY“.

Do It Yourself…

And all this time I thought it was just a trendy hipster term for: “it’s way cooler that way….’bra”

So it’s Monday night but it could very well be Friday based on the fact that it doesn’t actually feel like there was a weekend. Aside from this,  my body’s in pain, I’m exhausted and I have a headache which you might think was attributed to a weekend-merriment induced hangover, when it in fact is just a “let’s move a bunch of heavy furniture and paint on the same day” type of hangover.

The marathon started at some point in the past two weeks when we decided that, house ownership = house re-doership (redoership…? case in point, really tired). So here were are, painting the entire house… you know, just to “freshen it up.” and “put our mark on it.” Why couldn’t I have just cooked a really strong smelling curry and gotten on with it?

Here’s me back when I looked excited and happy, and ready to take it all on:

Home Depot "You can Do it, We Can Help."

And again, still just the beginning:

if these walls could talk.....

... they would say wipe that smile off your face

 Screw those people who think that painting is karate kid meditation for the western suburbanite.

The drips? The waiting around for it to dry? The uneven-ness that drives an anal retentive perfectionist like myself to utter distraction? I say there is NO scope for a serene form of meditation in that cocktail… I don’t care if Mr. Miyagi himself is hovering over your shoulder.

But worse that all of those things put together is  the paint choices… ooooey lordy! It’s enough to nearly incapacitate someone like myself who thinks choosing a paint color is a lot like choosing to have a child (i.e. permanent).

Oh and they don’t make it easy. The spectrum is endless. Accompanied by your favorite neighborhood cast of adjectives, of course. I think that I am currently up to my eyeballs in “delicate mist” and “sandy hook grey” (a prize to the person who can articulate what colors those names are actually referring to. )

My inability to choose a color was actually so pathetic that I turned to the retired contractor working the paint station in Home Depot and said, “I dunno… what do you think? Is this too blue for a bedroom?” To which he just grunted and shrugged his shoulders. (“We can help” my ass. That was NOT very helpful at all if you ask me.)

And you had better believe that before you commit to that $80 can of paint, you need to figure out the difference between “light grey” and “grey”.. otherwise you are going to slap that baby on there, see the light on it, and realize what you THOUGHT was grey was in fact actually brown. Tut, tut, tut. (Rookie Painters.)

Oh COME ON! Seriously?!

The highlight of the weekend? The prize of one carnation… for managing to “hold it together” (not my words)… oh my… was it that obvious? At any rate, it was just what I needed. xoxo.

Happiness is a flower by your head

Please, enjoy your weekends strolling around open-air downtown markets (this weekend and so many more to come) like a picturesque Pinterest postcard.

I myself am moving to suburbia, and for the foreseeable future, I’ll be scouring the aisles of Home Depot… taking out a share of their stock.


3 thoughts on “DIY Home Renovations

  1. Ah yes. Remember the time that it was a good idea to call your uncle to finish the wallpapering with your mother so that the marriage could stay intact! Must admit that I do like the the flower by your head. Sometime I’ll tell you Garrison Keeler’s story of the fellow from Minnesota who got up one Saturday morning and was given a list of 37 DIY jobs around the house.He then got in his car to drive to the local DIY outlet, drove off, and they never saw him again!
    Congrats on making it through the weekend. Strolling in the market sounds great!

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